Doodle of the Day

See the inspiration here.

25 July 2005 Thoughts

Want to know what I think of while I'm at work?
Here's what I wrote:

I really want to go to a place where people want to hear the good news.

I can come back, but I want to see a place hungry like that.

I don't care where people are, I want to go find them and reach them.
I want to see the kingdom advance, unfettered by religion.
I want to see sold out people.

I want to encourage them. I want to see them pass me up.
I don't want to talk them down. I want to let them leap, right from the beginning. Isn't that
the right way?

Nothing I own is so important that I would not risk it for following God.
Nothing, and nothing can be.

laying down my rights, for the promise of new life...

laying down your rights is what ya do.
No retaliation, no revenge, no bitterness.

Yet, things wont affect your worth, because it's not set by man.
Your worth is defined by a whole different set of standards.

They're in a whole different place.

Idea

So I've been thinking I should try songwriting. It's at least worth one try.

Openness

Everybody admires openness. But who wants to be inspired by it?

Who cares? So what if I'm not perfect, so what if I am rejected or judged by Christians. How about I be open and honest? The only way to live. The only way to grow.

If I wanted your respect, I would pretend. If I wanted your admiration I'd play some role.

Forget me, I am nothing. If you respect me, let it be out of TRUE righteousness, not a fascade.

I don't even want it to be me you respect, only God in me.

And if that means being hated for the next 30 years, so be it.

If that's how long it takes me to get cleaned up, it's worth it, because it's not the short-term respect of man I'm after. It's being right with God.

Playing some part to be seen as a 'good Christian' doesn't glorify God, it glorifies me. Let's have none of that.

And if you admire God's work in me, don't praise me, praise him, and repent.

What else?

Those women I've slept with...
I wish I'd never slept with them.
Not that I didn't enjoy it at the time.
I love sex.

Adultery aside. It was a waste of time.

Who is worthy of me? Only one.
Not saying I know who she is...

And for some reason, this only occured to me lately. Once I realized I am desirable.
Once I realized what I'm worth.
To my future wife: I'm sorry. And that's only the beginning.

More on ugly-Christian displays

I don't want to preach.
I just want to tell the truth.

The truth will advance itself, I don't need to defend it with rhetoric. He who has ears, let him hear. They who don't, well, ... I'll pray for them.

It's ok if I don't know all the answers. And it's amazing how the typical arguments I used to be afraid of aren't even arguments anymore.. They're only arguments if you let them be. Things have a way of boiling down, and when they're condensed, it's easy to hit the missing piece of foundational truth. Then it'd be cool if God would show up and reveal it to the person doubting. But if not, I can do what I can, and trust him to do the rest.

I don't have to win the chess game today, I just make a move and let someone else sit down.

Ugh, God help us.

I was on IRC, where a guy was talking about serious questions, actually, about 'transgendered' people, and then creation/evolution. And this Christian jumps all over him. Full of judgment... Ouch, it sucked. He tells me "I practice what is called Revival Preaching" -- Telling people what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear.

Oh man... I really could say more, but why? It's enough to say.
it was a very "ugly-Christan" experience.

It shocks me to think of how many more people might be reached if we drop the religion.
I should be in a bar right now talking to people about God.