Up late thinking

If you don't already have it, go out and buy My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers;

Now on with the post..

I've been wondering about my identity. What was I put on earth to do? And not the general stuff I know to do as a Christian, but what are the details? I don't have them! This could bother me.

If I really believed my identity is in Christ, and that my circumstances are ordained by God, that he is true to his promises, and that my goal is to know Him. (not joy, peace, or blessing, but to know Him)

How would my life be different?

I would will to choose His will. I would surrender my plans for myself. I would give up everything and everyone else.

How can I have plans for myself? All my plans need to be God's plans. If I choose my own life, then I'm putting myself on the throne!

I cannot mix my own plans with God's will, I must give up me.

God must be 1st. God must be 2nd and 3rd too. God must be all.

To fulfill God's design means total abandonment to Him. Whenever I want things for myself, the relationship is distorted - July 12th, My Utmost...

What does this mean? If I go after God as everything, I may be poor, uncomfortable. I may leave the plans for a wife, in fact, women may not be attracted to me! People may hate me. People may be repelled by me. I may be misunderstood, judged, persecuted, ridiculed.

I may not get the things I want. And the things that are important to me now may become unimportant. That is a large price!

But anything less wouldn't be satisfying.