Striving

So. Lately I've been working through stuff.
Comparing myself to others.
Striving.

Two days ago at school they talked about competition/comparing.
Yesterday they talked about rest.

I've been feeling like God's been telling me to 'Abide'.
Which brings up quotes from The Big Lebowski.

It seems so hard to do. To relax??!?
Will God's hand still be over me? Even if I'm not always looking to make sure I'm directly underneath it?

Will He really direct me and guide me even if I'm not making serious effort on my own?

Is he really the author and finisher of my faith?
Will he really keep me?

I want more of God, doesn't that mean I need to stare at His hand constantly?

Ugh. I can't keep striving, it's wearing me out.

I guess I'll collapse now. Think God will catch me?