Twilight

What good is it to anyone if I tone down my faith? I need to show it and live it all the way. To my experience level and beyond. I can not limit my faith only to what I have seen. I need to study the gaps in the bridges I have been taught. --People often teach me some truth 'bridge' and there are gaps in it because they expect I will just accept what they are saying. Sometimes people teach me bridges that they themselves don't know all the pieces to, they just were taught to them, so they tell them to me. I want to know that the holes and gaps in the bridges have substance in them. I need to know they're solid. And I need to study the theological difference points So I can use that knowledge to clarify things and unify the Body.

People are drawn to the glory of God within me, and about me, and to His Word. Not to a non-threatening presentation. Is the only reason this works due to the points of bright light that still shine through the easy, non-threatening curtain? Maybe I am being too harsh on seeker-friendly stuff. Maybe those places are nurserys? I'd really like there to be somewhere that's fully functional. Some place where the babies and the elderly go, and everyone in between, the sick, and the healthy. All benefiting from each other's gifts and experiences.

I need to live life as if everyone around me were wanting to chase after God completely. I owe them that, I owe ME that. People without understanding would follow me around as I demonstrated the kingdom. Even if they didn't openly accept it. The curiosity and acknowledgment of the authenticity (of God, really) would draw them. And God would show himself in me. Whether they follow me to the beach, or just observe from life, they're watching whether they admit it or not.
for this whole 'beach' thing to make sense, see the bottom of this post

To walk in faith (not only understanding) will glorify God, and make opportunity to advance the kingdom in their life and mine.

If my first priority is faith and prayer; and it's REAL, it will work. Would God not come through? What if I fail? I'm afraid of stepping out and not seeing fruit. Not only because I might look wrong, but because I fear to lose faith by trying to earn more.

Does that have anything to do with the parable of the talents?!

Will God leave me hanging? Not only to look foolish, but to feel failed by God? It requires great faith to believe God, even when your experience does not match your expectations.

Bill Johnson said something like, if you're ok with looking wrong when are, you'll be ok when you look wrong when you're not.. Or something like that. It's relevant, really. ;P

I'll have to look that up on my DVDs and write an updated post.

To expect perfection from myself (which I often do) is pride. To be afraid to be wrong is pride. Pride could cause religion, stagnation, etc..

The humble will learn God's mysteries.
The humble will advance the kingdom.
The humble could teach me a thing or two.

I want to be humble. I want to be O.K. with being wrong.
I fail no one if I am wrong.
I fail only if I quit trying.
Negative results aren't failure, they're progress -- finding my way to the right solution. e.g. Thomas Edison and his thousands of 'failures' when inventing the light bulb.

ok, to make sense of the whole "following me to the beach" comment, (hey, I was half asleep when I wrote this down in my journal) -- I was thinking about this, and saw a picture in my mind, of ministering to people at the sea shore. Some were skeptical, some disagreed with me, some openly talked against me, and God. But they followed me to the beach. They were interested and curious, even if they openly disagreed with me, and talked bad about me. The people in this vision were not of this culture or country (USA). But even the people in the U.S. are watching. If I acted from a kingdom perspective at work, they'd call me crazy, maybe I'd get fired. But maybe they'd see that I was absolutely crazy for something that was absolutely real. I can act a fool if God is glorified. What if I get fired from 10 jobs for acting out of reality (God's reality, not the fallen world's) ????? But what if after 10 jobs, God started moving in my life, and backed up all the stuff I proclaimed from the bible?!?!!???!!!

Where do I start? Well, first of all, when there's a problem... #1, pray. And openly suggest prayer to unbelievers around me (and sometimes even harder -- to believers).
That's where I start. If God is real, and he answers prayer; I will pray.