Doodle of the Day

See the inspiration here.

25 July 2005 Thoughts

Want to know what I think of while I'm at work?
Here's what I wrote:

I really want to go to a place where people want to hear the good news.

I can come back, but I want to see a place hungry like that.

I don't care where people are, I want to go find them and reach them.
I want to see the kingdom advance, unfettered by religion.
I want to see sold out people.

I want to encourage them. I want to see them pass me up.
I don't want to talk them down. I want to let them leap, right from the beginning. Isn't that
the right way?

Nothing I own is so important that I would not risk it for following God.
Nothing, and nothing can be.

laying down my rights, for the promise of new life...

laying down your rights is what ya do.
No retaliation, no revenge, no bitterness.

Yet, things wont affect your worth, because it's not set by man.
Your worth is defined by a whole different set of standards.

They're in a whole different place.

Idea

So I've been thinking I should try songwriting. It's at least worth one try.

Openness

Everybody admires openness. But who wants to be inspired by it?

Who cares? So what if I'm not perfect, so what if I am rejected or judged by Christians. How about I be open and honest? The only way to live. The only way to grow.

If I wanted your respect, I would pretend. If I wanted your admiration I'd play some role.

Forget me, I am nothing. If you respect me, let it be out of TRUE righteousness, not a fascade.

I don't even want it to be me you respect, only God in me.

And if that means being hated for the next 30 years, so be it.

If that's how long it takes me to get cleaned up, it's worth it, because it's not the short-term respect of man I'm after. It's being right with God.

Playing some part to be seen as a 'good Christian' doesn't glorify God, it glorifies me. Let's have none of that.

And if you admire God's work in me, don't praise me, praise him, and repent.

What else?

Those women I've slept with...
I wish I'd never slept with them.
Not that I didn't enjoy it at the time.
I love sex.

Adultery aside. It was a waste of time.

Who is worthy of me? Only one.
Not saying I know who she is...

And for some reason, this only occured to me lately. Once I realized I am desirable.
Once I realized what I'm worth.
To my future wife: I'm sorry. And that's only the beginning.

More on ugly-Christian displays

I don't want to preach.
I just want to tell the truth.

The truth will advance itself, I don't need to defend it with rhetoric. He who has ears, let him hear. They who don't, well, ... I'll pray for them.

It's ok if I don't know all the answers. And it's amazing how the typical arguments I used to be afraid of aren't even arguments anymore.. They're only arguments if you let them be. Things have a way of boiling down, and when they're condensed, it's easy to hit the missing piece of foundational truth. Then it'd be cool if God would show up and reveal it to the person doubting. But if not, I can do what I can, and trust him to do the rest.

I don't have to win the chess game today, I just make a move and let someone else sit down.

Ugh, God help us.

I was on IRC, where a guy was talking about serious questions, actually, about 'transgendered' people, and then creation/evolution. And this Christian jumps all over him. Full of judgment... Ouch, it sucked. He tells me "I practice what is called Revival Preaching" -- Telling people what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear.

Oh man... I really could say more, but why? It's enough to say.
it was a very "ugly-Christan" experience.

It shocks me to think of how many more people might be reached if we drop the religion.
I should be in a bar right now talking to people about God.

Vacation Begins.

So I'm looking for WiFi in the bldg.

There's a WAP underneath the bar in our dining area.
It wasn't working.
Someone connected a filter to the phone line, and disconnected the line from the DSL modem.

I fixed it....

WOOHOO! free high speed access for me!

-Chris

Vacation

I'm on VACATION!!

Film Vs Slides

I need to start shooting ONLY slides.
negatives are a waste of time.
they look like crap,they scan like crap, and the photo labs treat them like crap
I always get them back with scratches.
GRrrrr..

Flying.

After visiting with my dad, I stopped by my friend Gary's place and he took my flying in his RV-6.

We did barrel rolls and centerline rolls, and flew upside down.

I looked over at him and said "I could get addicted to this."
"Tell me about it," He replied.

Well put.

See pics of the plane HERE

Pic of Dad

Uber-Keyboard++

Changed my mind, want this
Optimus

I sooooo want this

Das Uber-Keyboard

2 more pics

The dome in it's latest state.



A flower in my mom's garden.

Catching Water

New Pic

Up late thinking

If you don't already have it, go out and buy My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers;

Now on with the post..

I've been wondering about my identity. What was I put on earth to do? And not the general stuff I know to do as a Christian, but what are the details? I don't have them! This could bother me.

If I really believed my identity is in Christ, and that my circumstances are ordained by God, that he is true to his promises, and that my goal is to know Him. (not joy, peace, or blessing, but to know Him)

How would my life be different?

I would will to choose His will. I would surrender my plans for myself. I would give up everything and everyone else.

How can I have plans for myself? All my plans need to be God's plans. If I choose my own life, then I'm putting myself on the throne!

I cannot mix my own plans with God's will, I must give up me.

God must be 1st. God must be 2nd and 3rd too. God must be all.

To fulfill God's design means total abandonment to Him. Whenever I want things for myself, the relationship is distorted - July 12th, My Utmost...

What does this mean? If I go after God as everything, I may be poor, uncomfortable. I may leave the plans for a wife, in fact, women may not be attracted to me! People may hate me. People may be repelled by me. I may be misunderstood, judged, persecuted, ridiculed.

I may not get the things I want. And the things that are important to me now may become unimportant. That is a large price!

But anything less wouldn't be satisfying.

Dad

The visit went well, it was a little awkward, but not bad.
He said on the phone "You probably think I didn't care or something." since he hadn't called in 7 years.

I didn't answer, I just didn't go there.

I'm not angry with him. I love him. I'm looking forward to the possibility of building a relationship with him.

Just a thought.

Be proud of your church, not proud in your church.

Completely surprising, yet not.

My dad called today.
haven't talked to him since about this time 7 years ago (1998)

completely odd that he calls me...

and completely odd how my week has been.

and completely odd how my dad was a topic that came up in prayer tonight at small group
something which has never really come up at this church... or even lately for that matter.

and now that this all happened, it's not so odd.... looks more like God.

I'm seeing my dad tomorrow (today) I'm driving 1 hr to see him..

this is so weird, I don't know how to react.

I'm really not angry with him.. that's strange too. I don't really know what to say to him...

Another strange thing... he called at about midnight while I was talking to my friend Velvet... a hispanic name came up on the CID and I was like.. weird.

So I click back to Velvet and I'm like guess what.... my dad called, and she's like, "ya know, that's wierd, that's what I thought when you said there was another call."

More later.

It feels good in here

Today at church, Donna walks in during worship and says "Wow, it feels good in here."
COOL! 'cause sometimes it's kinda heavy or generally not-fun feeling in here.

What's with all this warfare?

I love Donna's comments because she's so unchurched, it's not filtered (or altered) by 'churching'.

And she's just so sensitive to spiritual stuff. Almost every time she's around and there's church/spiritual stuff going on, she states the (sometimes not-so) obvious spiritual stuff.

I'm sad.

My great-aunt Libby died last month. I just found out today from Google of all places.

Libby Parod

I'm sad. She was an often ornery yet loving woman. -- and I say that with the utmost respect and regards!

I'm unsure of her salvation.
Was there something more I could have said?
=(

Maybe I'll post a pic of her.