Work in progress, so here's what I'm thinking...
To present in concept God's reality.
- To demonstrate in action this same reality.
- To continually repent -- that is to change my point of view to match God's revealed reality and will.
To seek His will, His Wisdom, His kingdom -- His reality. e.g. read the Bible, pray, listen.
I think the word repentance is not limited to the cessation or renouncing of, or righteous action in place of an already known sin.
It may be the immediate acceptance of a newly presented revelation. Does it matter?
And faith is the exercising of man's God-given free will to come into alignment in belief and action with God's reality.
Faith is a choice. Any may exercise faith. Not all, will choose to.
God empowers you to make the choice. You have free will. God can take action to bring that choice to you. The choice is up to man.
I think a quality presentation of God's kingdom will make it easier for people to choose to believe, to have faith.
I also think that once a person has accepted Jesus, and receives the Holy Spirit, God's indwelling presence, that He will speak to them, making clear the truth, and greatly aiding faith.
comments?
Hmm.. This does mean I need to study Rom 12:3 - what's he mean God assigned measure of faith?
10 December 2008
23 November 2008
Bad Dream
Had a bad dream last night.
Was going to fly to Puerto Rico with my mother.
She was ahead of me.
Somewhere between the terminal and gate, this guy asks me for my ticket, which was not in my hand. The ticket was in my inside jacket pocket, so I started looking for it.
He was older, with gray/white hair and he was taller than me. He got angry and told me to find my G**-D*** ticket. I got mad and slapped him.
He pulled me aside and radioed to other people. He looked at my passport and looked at a certain number on it - 35 - and made a comment that I'm lucky it wasn't 50.
Apparently 35 wasn't a great number either, and possibly referred to my likelihood of being suspect.
I think the range of numbers for that field is 0-50
I looked on my passport and saw the number 35, there was no label next to it.
Someone else came over to us and they both told me I'd have to go back through security and start over again.
They didn't explain well where I needed to go to start over, nor did they point to where to go.
I wandered back through the airport to find the end of the line.
My mom had already boarded the plane. I wasn't sure if I'd miss my flight. We were already short on time when we arrived at the airport.
I think by the end of the dream, I'd been allowed past the ticket-man, but by this time, I was waking up.
Was going to fly to Puerto Rico with my mother.
She was ahead of me.
Somewhere between the terminal and gate, this guy asks me for my ticket, which was not in my hand. The ticket was in my inside jacket pocket, so I started looking for it.
He was older, with gray/white hair and he was taller than me. He got angry and told me to find my G**-D*** ticket. I got mad and slapped him.
He pulled me aside and radioed to other people. He looked at my passport and looked at a certain number on it - 35 - and made a comment that I'm lucky it wasn't 50.
Apparently 35 wasn't a great number either, and possibly referred to my likelihood of being suspect.
I think the range of numbers for that field is 0-50
I looked on my passport and saw the number 35, there was no label next to it.
Someone else came over to us and they both told me I'd have to go back through security and start over again.
They didn't explain well where I needed to go to start over, nor did they point to where to go.
I wandered back through the airport to find the end of the line.
My mom had already boarded the plane. I wasn't sure if I'd miss my flight. We were already short on time when we arrived at the airport.
I think by the end of the dream, I'd been allowed past the ticket-man, but by this time, I was waking up.
14 October 2008
Compliments
Work in progress. some of this may be a STRETCH
What is the role of a compliment?
What is a compliment
A compliment is affirmation, a confirmation, it testifies to truth.
- A compliment is the witness to truth
Because a compliment is affirmation, and is based on truth;
- A compliment is given in/with the character of the giver.
- The giver's character/actions should be congruent with this truth.
A compliment should be given freely.
Flattery is a comment made with the goal of getting something out of it.
Flattery is manipulation.
Compliments should not be given in response to manipulation.
- Instead, the root of the problem should be spoken to.
For ultimate effect, compliments should be Spirit-led
Can a compliment be pro-active?
- Would it then be prophecy? or best-restated?
When a compliment is given without expectation or manipulation.
It is freely given, it's easier for someone to give.
Reasons why it's hard to give a compliment
- Fear of man - If you were free of fear of man, their reaction won't disrupt you.
- Your false perception of their reaction won't even exist.
- Your true negative perception will not de-motivate you, the compliment is for them.
- You don't believe the truth about them
- You probably don't believe the truth about you.
What is the role of a compliment?
What is a compliment
A compliment is affirmation, a confirmation, it testifies to truth.
- A compliment is the witness to truth
Because a compliment is affirmation, and is based on truth;
- A compliment is given in/with the character of the giver.
- The giver's character/actions should be congruent with this truth.
A compliment should be given freely.
Flattery is a comment made with the goal of getting something out of it.
Flattery is manipulation.
Compliments should not be given in response to manipulation.
- Instead, the root of the problem should be spoken to.
For ultimate effect, compliments should be Spirit-led
Can a compliment be pro-active?
- Would it then be prophecy? or best-restated?
When a compliment is given without expectation or manipulation.
It is freely given, it's easier for someone to give.
Reasons why it's hard to give a compliment
- Fear of man - If you were free of fear of man, their reaction won't disrupt you.
- Your false perception of their reaction won't even exist.
- Your true negative perception will not de-motivate you, the compliment is for them.
- You don't believe the truth about them
- You probably don't believe the truth about you.
13 October 2008
hah!
I had a thought. I wouldn't call it a vision.
Someone yelling in my face, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?"
How can I answer that?
YES!--NO!
(imagine that was said aloud, and the NO was a two-stutter delay behind YES, but in your mind no almost overlapped the yes.)
Really, maybe it was a vision. But I'm not too worried about answering that. It doesn't need to be. It's being worked out...
I might yell that in someone's face some day... whoa.. harsh..
Someone yelling in my face, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?"
How can I answer that?
YES!--NO!
(imagine that was said aloud, and the NO was a two-stutter delay behind YES, but in your mind no almost overlapped the yes.)
Really, maybe it was a vision. But I'm not too worried about answering that. It doesn't need to be. It's being worked out...
I might yell that in someone's face some day... whoa.. harsh..
Train dream
Don't remember all of the details.
Was at a museum maybe?
There were train tracks.
There was a steam locomotive.
I was with someone there, saw them there.
I was familiar with them, but did not really know them personally.
There was another person.
I was in the train while it was stopped, looking at it... museum style..
The familiar man was looking at it too, in the train.
The other man killed familiar man.
He was wounded.. fatally it seems.
He was hit around the midsection.
He staggered a step or two next to the tracks and fell.
His head and body on opposite sides of one rail.
The other man seemed to control the steam locomotive with a lever on the platform.
He started to move the train forward to decapitate familiar man.
I woke up, I do not recall if the train rolled over familiar man.
Neither man stood out as the "good guy"
The train was made in Germany.
I felt it was wrong to kill the first man. But not illegal.
I was not familiar with the other man.
I did not really grieve familiar man's death.
I woke up slightly distressed.
Was at a museum maybe?
There were train tracks.
There was a steam locomotive.
I was with someone there, saw them there.
I was familiar with them, but did not really know them personally.
There was another person.
I was in the train while it was stopped, looking at it... museum style..
The familiar man was looking at it too, in the train.
The other man killed familiar man.
He was wounded.. fatally it seems.
He was hit around the midsection.
He staggered a step or two next to the tracks and fell.
His head and body on opposite sides of one rail.
The other man seemed to control the steam locomotive with a lever on the platform.
He started to move the train forward to decapitate familiar man.
I woke up, I do not recall if the train rolled over familiar man.
Neither man stood out as the "good guy"
The train was made in Germany.
I felt it was wrong to kill the first man. But not illegal.
I was not familiar with the other man.
I did not really grieve familiar man's death.
I woke up slightly distressed.
11 October 2008
Insight
So, having recognized that I've been comparing myself to others.
I recognize that I don't love myself much. And I see that below that is my poor understanding of God's love for me.
Now I recognize the problem. What can I do about it?
Want's the difference between resting and pressing in?
Now I'll try to rest, trust. I'll read what He's said about His love for us. I'll listen to what He speaks to me.
Some things I have to take by faith.
Also, the prayer and fellowship with my fellow students has been invaluable.
I recognize that I don't love myself much. And I see that below that is my poor understanding of God's love for me.
Now I recognize the problem. What can I do about it?
Want's the difference between resting and pressing in?
Now I'll try to rest, trust. I'll read what He's said about His love for us. I'll listen to what He speaks to me.
Some things I have to take by faith.
Also, the prayer and fellowship with my fellow students has been invaluable.
Dream: Nail in my head
I had a dream last night that I had a nail stuck in my head.
I used a slide-hammer to pull it out.
It was scary, I didn't want to hurt my brain.
I carefully held the slide hammer, and gently tapped to get it loose, then I pulled and gently twisted on the nail to remove it from my skull.
when it was out, I could see what it looked like.
it didn't look like a normal nail.
Maybe I'll draw the nail and put it on this post.
When I removed it, I could feel a pressure change inside my head.
I then searched for a bandage to cover the hole, so nothing bad would enter my brain.
I put my finger over it as I walked, searching for a small band-aid.
I woke up, felt my head in the spot the nail was in.. no hole... just a dream.
I used a slide-hammer to pull it out.
It was scary, I didn't want to hurt my brain.
I carefully held the slide hammer, and gently tapped to get it loose, then I pulled and gently twisted on the nail to remove it from my skull.
when it was out, I could see what it looked like.
it didn't look like a normal nail.
Maybe I'll draw the nail and put it on this post.
When I removed it, I could feel a pressure change inside my head.
I then searched for a bandage to cover the hole, so nothing bad would enter my brain.
I put my finger over it as I walked, searching for a small band-aid.
I woke up, felt my head in the spot the nail was in.. no hole... just a dream.
Striving
So. Lately I've been working through stuff.
Comparing myself to others.
Striving.
Two days ago at school they talked about competition/comparing.
Yesterday they talked about rest.
I've been feeling like God's been telling me to 'Abide'.
Which brings up quotes from The Big Lebowski.
It seems so hard to do. To relax??!?
Will God's hand still be over me? Even if I'm not always looking to make sure I'm directly underneath it?
Will He really direct me and guide me even if I'm not making serious effort on my own?
Is he really the author and finisher of my faith?
Will he really keep me?
I want more of God, doesn't that mean I need to stare at His hand constantly?
Ugh. I can't keep striving, it's wearing me out.
I guess I'll collapse now. Think God will catch me?
Comparing myself to others.
Striving.
Two days ago at school they talked about competition/comparing.
Yesterday they talked about rest.
I've been feeling like God's been telling me to 'Abide'.
Which brings up quotes from The Big Lebowski.
It seems so hard to do. To relax??!?
Will God's hand still be over me? Even if I'm not always looking to make sure I'm directly underneath it?
Will He really direct me and guide me even if I'm not making serious effort on my own?
Is he really the author and finisher of my faith?
Will he really keep me?
I want more of God, doesn't that mean I need to stare at His hand constantly?
Ugh. I can't keep striving, it's wearing me out.
I guess I'll collapse now. Think God will catch me?
07 October 2008
How does God introduce me?
I've not been OK the last few days.
I know that I really don't know who I am.
I wonder, how does God introduce me?
Does He say to me, "Christopher, my little ______"
What goes in that blank?
Some dads call their son what they want them to become. "My little quarterback," they might say.
I asked God. He hasn't told me.
Bill Johnson said that "sometimes God doesn't let us know what we carry, we might focus on who we are, and not who He is."
I don't think that's my answer, but it helps.
Pastor Joe told me a wise thing once, about how some people's problems are easily seen, some people's aren't.
That's true, and I think also true of talents or gifts.
Sometimes I think my talents aren't easily seen. I sometimes get jealous of people with musical ability, etc.
Comparing myself to others never gets me to a good destination.
I find that I've lost focus yet again. Looking to people and not to God.
Bah! How and when did this happen?
I know that I really don't know who I am.
I wonder, how does God introduce me?
Does He say to me, "Christopher, my little ______"
What goes in that blank?
Some dads call their son what they want them to become. "My little quarterback," they might say.
I asked God. He hasn't told me.
Bill Johnson said that "sometimes God doesn't let us know what we carry, we might focus on who we are, and not who He is."
I don't think that's my answer, but it helps.
Pastor Joe told me a wise thing once, about how some people's problems are easily seen, some people's aren't.
That's true, and I think also true of talents or gifts.
Sometimes I think my talents aren't easily seen. I sometimes get jealous of people with musical ability, etc.
Comparing myself to others never gets me to a good destination.
I find that I've lost focus yet again. Looking to people and not to God.
Bah! How and when did this happen?
03 October 2008
God's will
Perhaps the place to look for His will is not in rules or guidelines, but to seek intimacy with Him first and foremost.
23 September 2008
Another dream
This dream may be influenced by the fact that I watched The Neverending Story right before bed.
I was in the woods. It was dark, lots of tree roots in the ground, dead leaves, it was dark out, like at dusk. I don't remember it being wet, but it looked wet. Like after a rain, when all the bark on the trees is dark. The earth was dark. In the woods, amidst trees, there was a single hill. The trees were rather evenly spaced, but not exactly. Their limbs were above human height. You could see rows of trunks. The trees probably darkened the sky a little, but it was dark out anyway. There were deer around, including a huge buck. My camera didn't capture him because it was so dark, but he was huge, with lots of points on his antlers! There were also wolves, but they didnt' attack. I was with another person, maybe 2 others, they were familiar to me, probably friends, but their identity wasn't important. We scrambled up the hill. Scrambled isn't the perfect word, because we didn't climb it quickly, and it wasn't a big hill, it was just covered in sparse grass, mud, slippery tree roots. We also didn't climb it with great desperation.
From the top of the hill, I could see that all around on the trees were yellow square signs. But rotated 45 deg. to look like a diamond. On these signs were yellow/orange/amber reflectors. They were on all of the trees surrounding the hill, but only on the trees nearest the hill, only 1 row deep. I believe there were 3 reflectors on each reflective sign, loosely in triangles, definitely not attached in rows.
I woke up.
I was in the woods. It was dark, lots of tree roots in the ground, dead leaves, it was dark out, like at dusk. I don't remember it being wet, but it looked wet. Like after a rain, when all the bark on the trees is dark. The earth was dark. In the woods, amidst trees, there was a single hill. The trees were rather evenly spaced, but not exactly. Their limbs were above human height. You could see rows of trunks. The trees probably darkened the sky a little, but it was dark out anyway. There were deer around, including a huge buck. My camera didn't capture him because it was so dark, but he was huge, with lots of points on his antlers! There were also wolves, but they didnt' attack. I was with another person, maybe 2 others, they were familiar to me, probably friends, but their identity wasn't important. We scrambled up the hill. Scrambled isn't the perfect word, because we didn't climb it quickly, and it wasn't a big hill, it was just covered in sparse grass, mud, slippery tree roots. We also didn't climb it with great desperation.
From the top of the hill, I could see that all around on the trees were yellow square signs. But rotated 45 deg. to look like a diamond. On these signs were yellow/orange/amber reflectors. They were on all of the trees surrounding the hill, but only on the trees nearest the hill, only 1 row deep. I believe there were 3 reflectors on each reflective sign, loosely in triangles, definitely not attached in rows.
I woke up.
A key to anointing
Bill taught in class today;
Apparently, the secret place is where battles are won.
And anointing comes from the secret place.
And the fields are ready for harvest. Everyone is ready for harvest.
There are some situations that require a high anointing. If you don't have high anointing, this is not to shame you.. But what an incentive to press in!
So, I look back upon my past, to a time when I saw the most spiritual growth that I can remember.
I was spending a lot of time with God, reading The Bible, praying, etc.
I haven't been doing that. Then I'm frustrated that I'm not hungry enough to want to.
Not that I couldn't discipline myself to do it. Discipline can play a part...
But then, you know what makes you hungry for The Kingdom? Eating.
And I've been eating more. Which is part of why I'm hungrier, and doing better.
lata....
Also, I give thanks for Firefox's built in spell-check.
Apparently, the secret place is where battles are won.
And anointing comes from the secret place.
And the fields are ready for harvest. Everyone is ready for harvest.
There are some situations that require a high anointing. If you don't have high anointing, this is not to shame you.. But what an incentive to press in!
So, I look back upon my past, to a time when I saw the most spiritual growth that I can remember.
I was spending a lot of time with God, reading The Bible, praying, etc.
I haven't been doing that. Then I'm frustrated that I'm not hungry enough to want to.
Not that I couldn't discipline myself to do it. Discipline can play a part...
But then, you know what makes you hungry for The Kingdom? Eating.
And I've been eating more. Which is part of why I'm hungrier, and doing better.
lata....
Also, I give thanks for Firefox's built in spell-check.
22 September 2008
Something I think is really cool
From memory; That story about John Wimber being at the airport and a woman sitting closer and closer to him. And John then tells her that what she's feeling is the presence of the Holy Spirit.
That is so cool. I want to bring that presence with me everywhere.
That is so cool. I want to bring that presence with me everywhere.
20 September 2008
Prayer at the supermarket
So, I go shopping at Winco foods in Redding.. it's 10pm and there's 3 guys praying for a lady with a hurt arm in the first aisle.
LOL... Right on!
LOL... Right on!
Dream
I had 2 dreams last night, the first one was more interesting, but I forgot it.
The 2nd one, I was at Wal-Mart and bought $120 (might have been $127) worth of trivial things. Among my purchases was a hair dryer.
I do not have need of, nor desire to own one.
I woke up feeling bad about spending unwisely, and wanting to take back the merchandise.
I reminded myself it was only a dream.
The 2nd one, I was at Wal-Mart and bought $120 (might have been $127) worth of trivial things. Among my purchases was a hair dryer.
I do not have need of, nor desire to own one.
I woke up feeling bad about spending unwisely, and wanting to take back the merchandise.
I reminded myself it was only a dream.
1st week done
Day 4 is complete, and the first week of school has passed.
Most of it consisted of worship time, Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, and reading the student handbook.
Every day I learn something more, and think about myself a little more. On the first day I felt as if I was in the bottom 10% of on-fire people.
Probably not true. However, I have noticed that my heart has been hardened for about the past 2 years. I'm making progress, and regaining lost ground in the heart area. I will surpass my previous milestones.
Met some really cool people so far. There's ~30 Norwegians, ~30 Kiwis, and people from all over the rest of the world.
Last I heard, there were about 760 1st yr students.
One student is only 15! -- though he turns 16 in 2 days.
I've also heard some great testimonies of 1st year students. Met one guy who hasn't been following Jesus for even a year yet. Was partying, drinking, prayed to God for some good Christian friends, and 1 week later, a bar ministry team from Bethel walks in, talks to him, and he has a Kingdom encounter. He's totally feeling conviction, and comes to be saved. 1 year ago, you'd find him in a bar, he laughs about the idea of attending a ministry school 1 year later!
I also met a guy from Canada who was previously addicted to drugs. He's still struggling with desires for stuff. Please pray for him, and I also humbly request you pray for me, that I'll be able to lead an example for him, and be able to encourage him. Everyone is a work in progress, and some of us have issues that are more visible than others. I found that some students do still have some problems, and need breakthrough. I do also.
Yesterday was my first opportunity to uphold a level of character that I've only recently chose to adopt. I decided to not drink any alcohol while I'm at school. I also quit smoking tobacco, and am going to abstain from that also.
Drinking alcohol in moderation is not banned by the school, but is discouraged.
Whatever, no big deal.. ;)
This is really the first blog of substance since I started school.
I know it's not been as personal as my blogs have been in the past, and I'm looking to further develop my style, cadence, and a develop a protocol/convention/format that suits my purpose and personality -- for this blog.
Please email with any insights about blogging!
Moving forward to claim the victory we've already won,
-Chris
blogged from: YAKS koffee (which just happens to be right next door to: Vineyard City Church)
Most of it consisted of worship time, Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, and reading the student handbook.
Every day I learn something more, and think about myself a little more. On the first day I felt as if I was in the bottom 10% of on-fire people.
Probably not true. However, I have noticed that my heart has been hardened for about the past 2 years. I'm making progress, and regaining lost ground in the heart area. I will surpass my previous milestones.
Met some really cool people so far. There's ~30 Norwegians, ~30 Kiwis, and people from all over the rest of the world.
Last I heard, there were about 760 1st yr students.
One student is only 15! -- though he turns 16 in 2 days.
I've also heard some great testimonies of 1st year students. Met one guy who hasn't been following Jesus for even a year yet. Was partying, drinking, prayed to God for some good Christian friends, and 1 week later, a bar ministry team from Bethel walks in, talks to him, and he has a Kingdom encounter. He's totally feeling conviction, and comes to be saved. 1 year ago, you'd find him in a bar, he laughs about the idea of attending a ministry school 1 year later!
I also met a guy from Canada who was previously addicted to drugs. He's still struggling with desires for stuff. Please pray for him, and I also humbly request you pray for me, that I'll be able to lead an example for him, and be able to encourage him. Everyone is a work in progress, and some of us have issues that are more visible than others. I found that some students do still have some problems, and need breakthrough. I do also.
Yesterday was my first opportunity to uphold a level of character that I've only recently chose to adopt. I decided to not drink any alcohol while I'm at school. I also quit smoking tobacco, and am going to abstain from that also.
Drinking alcohol in moderation is not banned by the school, but is discouraged.
Whatever, no big deal.. ;)
This is really the first blog of substance since I started school.
I know it's not been as personal as my blogs have been in the past, and I'm looking to further develop my style, cadence, and a develop a protocol/convention/format that suits my purpose and personality -- for this blog.
Please email with any insights about blogging!
Moving forward to claim the victory we've already won,
-Chris
blogged from: YAKS koffee (which just happens to be right next door to: Vineyard City Church)
12 September 2008
Back!
The blog is back in action
After many months of inactivity, blogging shall commence!
Update: I applied and was accepted to the Bethel school of Supernatural Ministry [link].
I'll be learning and stretched and changed forever.
I made the drive to Redding, CA in 5 days. Everything is ok, the little diesel that could held out, even when being forced up mountain at full throttle with the AC on!
I've posted a few snapshots of my trip here: Trip Photo Album with google's picasa.
Will write more later!
Thank you to all my friends, family, and Vineyard family who gave me a great send-off!
-Chris
After many months of inactivity, blogging shall commence!
Update: I applied and was accepted to the Bethel school of Supernatural Ministry [link].
I'll be learning and stretched and changed forever.
I made the drive to Redding, CA in 5 days. Everything is ok, the little diesel that could held out, even when being forced up mountain at full throttle with the AC on!
I've posted a few snapshots of my trip here: Trip Photo Album with google's picasa.
Will write more later!
Thank you to all my friends, family, and Vineyard family who gave me a great send-off!
-Chris
09 January 2008
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